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Too much masturbation – Reader’s trouble with sex.

With the consent of the Reader I present a question and a problem. My reply follows.

"Hey Brunet ,
My name is Dave and I am 20 years of age. It is quite difficult for me and I apologise if I will be writing in a chaotic way. I have been reading your blog for some time and I have some questions:

1) My problems is the following: I have masturbated for 7-8 years to watching porn. Several times I have had sex (about  3 times), but I could not get a full erection. Even when I achieved penetration despite incomplete erection, I lost the erection during sex and could not get it back up after a break. Penetration did not bring me satisfaction (as compared with masturbation). At the same time, my partners did not get any satisfaction because of my incomplete erection.

I have a feeling it might be a psychological effect of too long masturbation / watching porn, certain acquired behaviors and a different (stronger) pressure of the penis during masturbation than during sex. When I see a video / photograph I get an erection, I do not have it with a partner. So far, I have had one girlfriend, with whom I got an erection every time, but we fell apart. When she did a hand-job, she used more pressure than I did myself. When I start dating a new girl, we usually fall apart after a first unsuccessful sexual intercourse.
Once I even went to a prostitute, but with the same result.
2) Another thing is that looking at a sexy woman in a nightclub /on bus /in the street I do not have an erection (other guys have). I too want to have an erection at the sight of women, not only naked ones but also when they are fully dressed.
3) I have some concerns that when I find a new partner I will not have no erection and I will not prove myself as a lover. I know that in this case a social factor and a lack of positive experiences with sex may play a role.
How to solve these problems?
I have not masturbated for about two months. I started to workout (doing Weider 6 pack sequence).
I do not know what to do with all this . These problems make my life and relationships with women difficult. Please, help me."


My reply:

Hey!
As regards point 1
Do not worry, because 95 % of guys masturbate, and the remaining 5 % are just ashamed to admit it in the polls.
But it would be better to change this ratio and have more women, and less masturbation.


If you have been doing good to yourself you are focused ob your own pleasure. Maybe you transfer this attitude to actual sex, and during sex should think about her pleasure…

If you work on oral sex techniques you will be able to satisfy a woman and have fun with this yourself. Then, even if you haven’t  had an intercourse with them they will come back for more.

If you often ejaculate during masturbation is not good for your energy . It is very likely that you're pretty lazy because of that. I could write a lot more about this…

In short, learn to do a woman good with your tongue. Learn the tantric massage, give her a strong orgasm and make her happy. At the same time strengthen your potency by nutrition: eat a lot of celeriac, or buy yourself the Tribulus Terrestris dietary supplement. But I warn you that you will be burning with desire, so better have a stable woman at least for a few months and learn normal sex with her.

 Re: 2) When you are 25 years old, it's unlikely that you'll have an erection at the very sight of a woman. OK, now you are 20, but day after day you have been watching hundreds of naked women, so it is not surprising that a normal girl makes no impression you.

Re: 3) It's a mental problem.  If you are programming yourself in this was you are automatically creating a problem in point 1. That's why I'm writing about a permanent partner, who will knock it out of your head. You can also ask Adept about therapies, he knows how to deal with such things.

Exercise in the form of Weider 6 pack, sorry but it's just for your belly. If you want to change by anything by exercising it must be aerobic workout that lasts at least 40 minutes, three times a week. Swimming will not do the trick, so it's best to run/ride a bike. The weather is not the best, but I have always done jogging in winter. Anyway, you can always do running in the gym.

Such exercises cause activation of the lymphatic system, everything in you begins to burst with energy and wake up to life. And that's the point.

If anyone has any other ideas feel free to write about them in the comments space (but sensible stuff, please).

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