With the passing years, I am becoming more and more convinced that every aspect of our lives depends to enormous extent on what’s going on in our heads. It greatly matters what we think about ourselves and how we perceive the world around us.
I’ll write a few sentences about confidence and how it affects the quality of sex.
Surely you watch different movies where a macho calls on his woman and without any dispute does what he wants with her and goes off.
The woman seems at first to dislike the situation (or fakes this attitude) but do we know what she really thinks? The longing in her eyes after he leaves shows something just opposite.
Now imagine a gentleman who is afraid to cross the street and is timidly looking around. He does not know what to do with himself and seems to feel so uncomfortable in his own skin that he would like to jump out of it.
I will not go into an argument whether such a person is able to have more or less successful sex.
It’s about something simpler. It’s about our shyness.
Polish culture is specific with respect to our attitude to nudity. To me it was a big shock when I went to an Aqua Park in Austria and entered the massage and sauna area. The placed was, naturally, “coed” (men and women together) but all the people were just “as God made them”.
All men and women were naked and they were not in the least embarrassed. There were some elderly people there and a lot of very young ones.
Now ask yourself this question: Do you go with no clothes on when you are at home and do you feel uneasy about that?
I am writing this to show you that if you do not accept your body and you are shy of it then your sex life will not be mind blowing.
If you are ashamed of your body before yourself, how are you going to feel in front of your partner? Do you imagine hiding or covering yourself?
Imagine that you have a very shy girl who does not show her body, and when it comes to sex she wears special pants with a hole and that is you only physical contact. I don’t think it would be very pleasant.
That’s why I recommend homework for today: when you are at home, walk around naked The sun is shining and its rays are coming through the window, so you will not freeze any of you body parts
When you go to the beach in summer do not hide behind a screen and do not wear clothes that hide too much of your body. It should do you good.
If you have specific reasons for not liking your body, try to improve it or just accept the shortcomings. I will not elaborate here on how to do it. Believe me, there are dozens, if not hundreds of ways. There are psychologists and therapists who deal with this. Not to mention the fitness caches.